Include Your Flaws in College Essays

Let’s start with a confession: it’s easy to see why so many students (and their parents) think college essays should be brag sheets. After all, admissions officers want to know what makes you impressive, right? Listing awards, achievements, and leadership roles feels like the obvious move—and it’s tempting to cram every hard-earned accomplishment into a 650-word essay.

But here’s the reality: reading an essay that’s just a glorified resume is like watching paint dry. It’s dull, inauthentic, and, frankly, forgettable. What makes an essay stand out isn’t the list of achievements—it’s the story of growth. That’s why leaning into your flaws, mistakes, or vulnerabilities is one of the best strategies for crafting an essay that feels real and memorable.

Why Are We So Afraid to Talk About Flaws?

The fear of admitting imperfections is real. Many students worry that discussing their struggles will make them look weak or unworthy. Parents often encourage this approach, believing that colleges want to see “perfection” on paper. But here’s the secret: colleges don’t expect you to be perfect. They’re far more interested in how you think, adapt, and grow.

When you talk about your flaws, you show that you’re human. More importantly, you show that you’re capable of reflection and change. Admissions officers are more interested in who you’re becoming than who you’ve been.

Why Talking About Flaws Works

The key to writing about your flaws is avoiding self-pity or making excuses. Instead, focus on how you’ve grown. Here are some strategies that work:

1. Be Honest About What You Struggle With

Meet Miley, who wrote about her need for control. Miley described how she micromanaged every detail of her life, from planning group projects to over-scheduling her days. At first, this came off as responsible. But she also reflected on the ways her need to control everything limited her—how it made her anxious when things didn’t go according to plan and how it alienated others.

In her essay, Miley described learning to let go. One turning point came when a classmate presented a project she had largely contributed to. Instead of feeling sidelined, she realized that sharing leadership allowed others to shine. By acknowledging this flaw and showing growth, Miley made her story relatable and inspiring.

In the essay, they described learning to let go. One turning point came when a classmate presented a project they had largely contributed to. Instead of feeling sidelined, they realized that sharing leadership allowed others to shine. By acknowledging this flaw and showing growth, they made their story relatable and inspiring.

2. Share a Vulnerable Moment

Meet Jake, who reflected on the challenges of living in a household affected by his sister’s anorexia. Jake described how he tried to mask his struggles by becoming the “perfect” son, student, and athlete. But when his parents left for weeks to seek treatment for his sister, Jake realized he couldn’t do it all alone. His little brother stepped in, helping him with everyday tasks and showing him the value of accepting help.

By sharing this deeply personal story, Jake didn’t just highlight a moment of vulnerability—he showed how he came to understand the importance of collaboration and emotional support.

3. Show How Flaws Drive Growth

Meet Clara, who wrote about her relationship with her grandmother, who was losing her independence due to Parkinson’s. Clara acknowledged her tendency to micromanage and control situations but realized she couldn’t control her grandmother’s illness or her friends drifting away during COVID.

Instead of trying to change others, Clara learned to adapt. Her essay ended with a beautiful reflection on the inevitability of loss and how it makes love and connection meaningful. By embracing this flaw—her struggle with letting go—Clara painted a picture of personal growth that was both raw and poignant.

4. Don’t Just List Accomplishments—Evaluate Them

Even if you want to talk about your successes, frame them in a way that shows self-reflection. What mistakes did you make along the way? What did you learn? For example, if you started a fundraiser, talk about the obstacles you faced, the moments of doubt, or the mistakes that made the project harder. This makes your story not only more relatable but also more compelling.

5. Be Specific and Real

Skip the vague “I learned to be a better person” lines. Show us the messy, specific details. What was the moment when you realized you needed to change? Who or what helped you get there? Colleges don’t want to read a sermon; they want to see your humanity.

Talking about your flaws in your college essay isn’t risky—it’s smart.

Vulnerability is relatable, and growth is inspiring. Instead of trying to dazzle admissions officers with a perfect record, show them who you really are and how you’re becoming the person you want to be.

Remember: A great college essay isn’t about perfection—it’s about transformation. So don’t be afraid to admit your flaws, because that’s where the story really starts.